Why authenticity is a value everyone should practice (and how to start)
I know it is not as easy as it sounds. If you knew me ten years ago, I was the perfect chameleon, especially at work. I was fearful of losing my position by simply being me. I had been told that my look was too ‘edgy’. Interviews were a terror, getting ready for meetings were unbearable. I had to cover myself head to toes in the heat of the summer to be physically appealing to others. My tattoos were unacceptable , my nose ring was pushing it, and my hair was too exotic. (I used to rock a faux-hawk ). I hated that I had to become someone else in order to be employed. Even though I met all the job requirements, I was judged.
Enough was Enough! I was tired of being someone I wasn’t! If you can’t accept all of me, then I do not want to work for you. When I interviewed with NetApp, I decided to keep my nose ring in, show my tattoos and rock my own style. I told the hiring manager that I had done this on purpose. “This is me and this is how I feel comfortable dressing. I refuse to work for a company that does not accept this.” He completely respected my choice and brought on board. I was finally in a safe space to be me without fear. Now, I can never turn back.
In today's world, social media dominates our interactions, and true authenticity is difficult to find. People present a curated version of themselves to the world.
What does being authentic mean anyways? Well, being authentic means you act in ways that show your true self and feelings, rather than showing people only what you think they want to see. When you are authentic, you accept and embrace who you are. This leads to greater self-esteem and self-confidence, as you are not constantly trying to be someone you are not. Not only that, authenticity helps build genuine relationships, as people are attracted to those who are honest and true to themselves. Being authentic allows you to connect with others on a deeper level, as they see the real you.
When I started practicing the following steps, my life began to change.
SELF ACCEPTANCE
It is natural for humans to want acceptance. Sometimes we seek it from others and sometimes in things. (I did both). The best acceptance though, is self acceptance. I feel like this goes hand in hand with Self love. Embrace your strengths and what makes you unique. Celebrate all of your accomplishments! Stop over analyzing and practice the art of letting go of what you can’t change. Think positive and be kind to yourself. Most importantly, Do not give a FUCK what anyone else thinks of you. Spend time reflecting on your values, beliefs, and priorities. This will help you understand who you are and what you stand for.
INTUITION
Intuition is that sense of knowing what the right answer or decision is before you make it.. Listen to that inner voice and gut feeling. Your intuition will not fail you. Not sure how to tap into your intuition? Start by meditating.
SPEAK YOUR TRUTH
Do not pretend to be someone you’re not. Speak your truth and you will find a new freedom. By doing this, it will help you stay true to who you are. Whether it is an opinion or how you feel, you should never hide it for the sake of someone’s else’s approval or to avoid conflict. Speaking your truth shows courage and will inspire others. Do not be afraid to be YOU and let go of needing the approval of others. People pleasing is the opposite of being your authentic self. When you do this you will attract the right people places and things into your life.
SET BOUNDARIES
Ahhhhhh, the word No. So small yet so powerful and freeing! Unfortunately, for a lot of people, saying No is either too hard or not in their vocabulary. In order to set healthy boundaries, learning to say No is crucial. Saying No is an important boundary because it gives you control of your time and energy. It also sets expectations and will prevent future resentments from you or the other party. If you do not set healthy boundaries, we teach others how to treat us and our relationships become unhealthy, in turn those relationships become obligations, and border on codependent. It is not just about saying No. Setting boundaries could mean setting clear expectations upfront and speaking your truth. It is vital to stick to the boundary you have set. If you let people cross it continually the boundary means nothing and you become a doormat.
As you can see, being authentic allows you to live a more meaningful life, build genuine relationships, and earn the trust and respect of others. When you are true to yourself, you have greater clarity and focus on what you want to achieve in life. You are not distracted by trying to be someone else or living up to others' expectations. Today, I do not think twice about trying something new or posting something unorthodox. This path has brought me new opportunities and has allowed me space to grow and be creative. Go against the grain and take the road less traveled, I promise, it will be worth it!
